Blog Posts - Equilibrium Bodywork & Coaching

How do you relate to emotions?

5/16/2018

Fear. Anger. Sadness. Joy.

What do you want from emotions? To learn from them? To love them? To see the value in them? To avoid all but joy?

I want to find allowance of them. I want to access joy as much as possible. I want to be aware of the value and lessons in fear, anger and sadness, and I want to be able to let them go with ease.

Do you ruminate in one of these? Do you repress one, only to have it come out with a strong intensity under pressure? Do you repress one and feel as if your life is missing something? When I think of repressed emotions, I think of a child who eventually acts out after not being heard. At first the child may gently ask for what they need. If they aren't heard, they may cry. Then scream. Later on, if they're still not getting what they need, they may act out violently toward others, or "misbehave," in order to get attention in an attempt to get what they need. If emotions are held in and not allowed to move, they'll act up later on. The body holds on to them and reveals them as pain and discomfort.

How do you personally want to relate to emotions? If you want help dealing the more challenging ones, talk to me. If you want help accessing more joy, let's work together. Call me for a free consultation, or go ahead and schedule a session.

(720)432-3032

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Have you noticed any correlations between your emotional state and your physical body? Do you have any tricks to help you release or move challenging emotions? I'm curious - please comment!

Removing the charge from polarities

4/11/2018

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed.
Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”

- Rumi

Holding on / Letting go
Is one better than the other?

Masculine / Feminine
What are your judgments of these?

Expanding / Contracting
Do you value one over the other?

If you have a preference, it's simply an interesting point of view. Perhaps it's what you need in this moment, and tomorrow your point of view may change.

There is no inherent better than or less than, right or wrong. All of these are simply aspects of life - when these aspects are balanced, life will flow with greater ease. Sometimes it will feel good let go. Sometimes it’s wise to hold on. Sometimes I want to embody the masculine / yang qualities of being active, direct, and extroverted. Sometimes it would benefit me more to surrender, be receptive and flowing - embodying more yin or feminine qualities of life.

In Polarity Two-chair, we pendulate from one to the other, taking time to notice what we feel in the body. When we have a preference around something such as holding on or letting go, it creates a positive or negative charge around it. With a few pendulations, the initial charge dissipates, and we feel more neutral, or balanced.

When there’s less charge and no point of view, we have more space for choice. The body and mind are more at ease. When the voice of judgments and societal expectations are neutralized, it's easier to find clarity and trust within. Intuition becomes more apparent. Decision-making becomes easier. The flow state is more accessible.

Are you willing to slow down, notice what your judgments are, feel them in the body and surrender to change? I've personally committed to a two-chair practice for myself every day as long as it serves me. It is something you can do on your own, and at times it helps to have a guide to facilitate deeper change. Call me if you'd like some guidance: (720)432-3032, or schedule a coaching session online.

Quality control - trustworthy touch

4/4/2018

“Your quality of touch is different - I feel relaxed with it. I’m not reacting defensively like I sometimes do...
My body is open to it.”

I wonder how the world would be if we all knew how to touch and be touched with ease and grace?

This is what I strive for in every session - to contact the recipient in a way that has them relaxed and receptive. Why is this important? When the body reacts defensively by tensing or contracting against contact, or when anxiety builds up in response to it, the body is reacting more to the therapist instead of relaxing into it’s natural healing processes. I could create more tension for you, which could also get worked out during the session, but you’re probably coming to me to release tension you had before seeing me, not to create more tension to work through. Have you ever had a massage that left you feeling more tense? Let’s not do that, ok?

So what contributes to a quality of touch that instills trust and allows for the most easeful healing?

Presence
Awareness
Neutrality
Deep listening
Self-trust
Embodiment

The first two skills that are taught in the Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy training - ones that are repeatedly emphasized throughout the program because of their importance, are the skill of being and the skill of relationship. The skill of being pertains to the state of the therapist. As I begin a session, do I feel grounded, centered and neutral? Am I relaxed, present and aware of my state, or am I nervous or biased in some way? This will affect how the recipient responds, whether they’re conscious of it or not - on some level, their body will be aware of my state, even if their mind is not.

The second skill is the one of relationship (the basic definition of “relationship” is “a connection” - I’m not referring to a romantic relationship in this instance). In this connection, what kind of contact would feel most easeful or welcome by the recipient? How much space would they like and what kind of pressure feels most easeful? Sometimes there’s a wide range of contact styles - light strokes, heavy compressions, etc. - that feel comfortable for the body. Sometimes the recipient will be very specific - they may want very light, still touch and a wide focus from the therapist.

To get a sense of different focus styles, imagine gazing out at the vast expanse of the ocean horizon. Notice how that feels in your body. Then imagine you’re examining something very specific through a microscope, and notice what you feel in your body with that image - two different modes of focus. Considering the body, I could have a wide focus by opening my awareness to the whole body, including the space around the body. Or I could have a narrow focus by zooming in to one little point, like a vertebra in the neck. Again, the recipient’s body feels the difference, whether or not the mind is aware of it. The book Open Focus Brain, by Les Fehmi and Jim Robbins, is a good resource for developing relaxed, open focus.

These “skills” can be applied to any experience in life where you’re interacting with another being. If you want to create the greatest ease in connections (relationships), and minimize reactive defenses, try working on the skills of being and the skills of relationship.

Skills of being:
Feeling grounded, centered, and neutral

This is a state of being present with self-awareness, mindfulness and allowance of what wants to happen - having a sense of equanimity. Perhaps we notice biases, judgements or habitual patterns come up. These are normal, so rather than judging the judgements, see if they’ll disappear if you ask them to, rather than hooking on to them. The level of neutrality you can hold may vary, depending on who you’re interacting with. Feeling some appreciation or loving kindness for yourself may help. Another way some people access neutrality is simply to look around the room and label (in their mind) what they see - i.e. I see a green wall, white lamp, brown wood door, etc.

In a grounded, centered, neutral state, the person you’re interacting with is least likely to react because there isn’t something to hook onto, positive or negative, and because you’re present with them. If you’re distracted, it’s more likely to create some interruption of the connection.

Skills of relationship, or connection:
Comfortable proximity and contact

This includes awareness of the energetic space (wide vs. narrow focus, for example), and awareness of the type of contact desired. In the context of a therapeutic bodywork session, I’m offering massage, craniosacral therapy or other touch therapy to someone laying on a table, so I’m trained and comfortable offering different types of touch. If you’re offering someone massage, considering the skill of relationship, notice what feels good to you and the person you’re touching. If you’re unsure or if you want to encourage verbal feedback, ask how the contact is. If you trust your intuition, they appear clearly at ease, you feel relaxed and connected to them, and you trust them to speak up if something is uncomfortable, then it may not be necessary to talk about the contact. And that may change tomorrow… each day is different.

What have you found to be helpful in establishing comfort and trust with touch? I’m curious to hear your stories - what has you feel relaxed and what hasn’t worked for you in bodywork sessions?

Stress and the mind-body connection

2/26/2018

"The biology of stress predominantly affected 3 types of tissues, or organs in the body. In the hormonal system, visible changes occurred in the adrenal glands; in the immune system, stress affected the spleen, the thymus the lymph glands; and the intestinal lining of the digestive system."
Gabor Mate
"When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection"

Stress, emotions and mental activity all affect the physical body. It isn't possible to separate the mind, body, emotions and spirit from one another in the human experience. The changes in your body from stress, emotions and mental activity might not always be obvious, but you're probably also not aware of all the minuscule digestive processes that are happening in each cell. I've been so steeped in this knowledge for the past few years, and training in a variety of modalities that all explain how this works, that it's so clear to me. When I hear someone dispute this, it's like they're saying gravity isn't real. Well, maybe gravity is a figment of our imagination, too, a story that has become real because we believe in it. Maybe the mind-body-emotions-spirit connection isn't real to some people, but it's very real in my reality. So when something doesn't feel good in your body, notice what's happening in the rest of your life, and what's been happening in your life for the past couple weeks, and past several years, and your entire life. It's all connected.

Want to learn more? Check out Gabor Mate's book "When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection," Audio or Paperback book

Ready to explore the mind-body connection in a session? In addition to hands-on bodywork, coaching can help facilitate deeper healing - polarity two-chair and somatic experiencing will bring greater awareness to the unique fingerprint of your mind-body connection. It can release binds - habits, patterns, stuckness - and balance the nervous system, so your body can heal itself. Click here to book a session now.

Nature does not hurry

2/11/2018

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished"
-Lao Tzu

I seem to need this reminder frequently. There's so much that I want to change - in my life, community, home, and the world at large. I want it all to change right now! But what wants to happen right now? And how can it change with ease?

Sometimes my mind and nervous system get speedy and anxious with all of the things I want to, ought to, need to do. It's incredible how much the mind can hold! It can also get jumbled and confused with all of those thoughts running around. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, so I end up procrastinating or starting a bazillion projects that never get finished. Can you relate to this? To gain clarity on what wants to happen right now, it can help to slow the mind and listen to the body.

Can you take a pause as you're reading this and notice your breath? Can you feel your seat? Notice how your body makes contact with the chair you're sitting on, simply to feel the points of contact, with no point of view. This simple awareness exercise will help you start to tune in to your body.

Of course the mind is part of the body, but we often ignore our body's signals - pain, discomfort, lethargy, irritation. We often suffer through these to accomplish something on our to-do list. A tickle in the throat turns into the flu, where it could be avoided if we just take the time to ask our bodies what they need. "Body, what are you aware of? "Body, what do you want?" How fast or slow does your body want to move right now?

Recently I had been noticing tension in my left hand - my fingers were slightly clenched and no matter how much I stretched them out, they continued to hold tension. Then I received some bodywork. I don't even remember if the therapist touched my left hand, but I clearly remember it relaxing as she held my ankles, using biodynamic craniosacral therapy. It was a beautiful illustration of this quote - "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." The therapist could have worked directly with my hand, applying deep pressure to all the right muscles to get them to relax, which may be the "quick fix" for some people. For me what did the trick was slowing down, listening deeply to the body, and allowing the nervous system to unwind. The body, as nature, is capable of healing itself when we listen deeply and trust the process. Everything can be accomplished with ease.

Where can you invite more ease into your life? What is your body wanting right now? If you need help slowing down, come in for a session. And take a look at these videos from Katherine McIntosh to learn more tools about listening to your body.

Body Image and Massage

10/4/2017

Body image. Almost everybody has something about their body that they don’t like. For many people it’s a minor issue, no big deal. But some people have a major issue with their body image. It affects how they live and their happiness.

When I tell people that I’m a massage therapist, once in a while someone has a strong reaction. They tell me, whether verbally or through their reaction and body language, that massage is not for them. Their body image is such an issue that they don’t think anybody else can accept them.

The paradox here is that massage can really help with body image issues. In massage school we were all nervous about taking off our clothes and letting somebody else touch us. It didn’t take long for us to discover that bodies are just bodies, and we became much more comfortable with our own. We also experienced how good receiving a massage made us feel. Something unexpected happened – when our bodies felt better, we felt better about our bodies!

Is your body image holding you back? There are 3 options to consider. Let’s look at the risk versus reward for them.

1. Don’t get a massage.

This is the easiest because it involves doing nothing. The risk is low since you are not letting another person see or touch you at all.

The reward is zero. You didn’t get a massage so your body doesn’t feel any better, and you still have the stress you had before.

2. You get a massage, but the massage therapist makes note of how you look (as if it matters).

If this has happened to you, I’m sorry. You got a lame massage therapist. That’s a bummer, and they missed the training in how to be a professional, compassionate, caring therapist. If this happened to you, you took a risk and reaped little reward.

This is not going to happen if you come to me. Never. No way. I can’t say this strongly enough. It goes against the very nature of who I am, how I treat people, and what I believe.

3. You get a massage. A great massage. And the therapist does nothing to make you feel uncomfortable about your body. In fact, you feel pretty good about your body after the massage!

In this option, your risk is low. I’m not judging you or your body. I just want to help you feel better. Your reward is high. Your body will feel better from the massage and you can start feeling better about it.

I have no idea how your body got to be in the condition that it’s in. You may be dealing with something that you can’t control, such as a medical condition, injury or accident. You may be in a lot of pain or are limited in what you can do physically. You may not have had time to shave your legs. All of this is welcome, with understanding and compassion.

I’ve worked on hundreds – maybe thousands – of people. Each body is fascinating and unique and I’ve yet to come across one that I could not help.

If you have been avoiding massage because you feel uncomfortable about your body, let’s find an option that works for you. You don’t even have to explain anything to me. Leave your clothes on if that's more comfortable. Stay sitting up or face down or lying on your side or however you want. It’s up to you.

It’s my job to help you feel better. That’s it. Together let’s find a way to help you relieve your pain and stress. Don’t let your body image keep you from feeling good.

Freedom of Movement

9/22/2017

Intention plays a significant role in therapeutic work - as we dive into a healing journey, intentions or goals are like a compass that leads the way. Here are 7 of my goals in healing work:

Freedom of movement
Empowerment to voice desires, needs and boundaries
Ability to feel any emotion with ease
Secure attachment
Trust in intuition
Capability to see the beauty in life
Capacity feel more pleasure

Freedom of movement is the goal that got me started in the massage profession. I later realized all the other reasons. Sometimes artists don’t know what they’re painting until it’s finished. Likewise, my reasons for diving in to the healing field continue to reveal themselves.

So about freedom of movement – I am a dancer. I’ve always wanted a wider range of expression in my movement. It’s a delightful creative outlet that helps me feel awake and fluid. At the time I started considering massage as a career, I was swing, blues and salsa dancing at least four times a week. I felt so alive! I wanted to help others feel comfortable in their bodies, and to find creative, joyful movement in their everyday lives. Let’s be clear, though – I don’t want to push an agenda for dancing. Many activities are hindered when you’re injured – hiking, baseball, disc golf, running with the dog, playing with the kids, acting, cycling, sleeping… My healing goal to increase freedom of movement comes from a desire for everyone to live a more joyful life. Having the freedom to move how you want to move plays a significant role in that.

So how do you want to move?
What would your life be like with greater range of motion, more stability, flexibility and strength?
And how can I help?

Here are a few things that will inhibit movement:

Adhesions in connective tissue (fascia) limits movement
Excess tension in one area could be pulling on another area, creating compensatory movement patterns that are structurally unstable
Tension patterns may be held from past injuries, traumas, surgeries or intense emotional events

The good news:
All of this is reversible – just depends how much time and effort you’re willing to spend on changing it. Some things can be healed in one session – adhesions can be broken up (they’re basically “knots” that can be relieved with myofascial release or other massage) and trauma patterns may be resolved through two-chair coaching – but a lot of things, like caved-in shoulders for example, were built up over time. They will take time to change. Additionally, the shoulders can hold that posture for multiple reasons – working at a computer every day with sub-par ergonomics, emotional guarding around the heart, excess weight lifting in the pecs, compromised posture elsewhere in the body that also affects the shoulders (because everything in the body is connected). Massage and craniosacral therapy are excellent on their own for achieving greater range of motion. However, to have a bigger impact that lasts longer, I like to approach healing from multiple angles – mental, emotional AND physical. I’m seeing more and more people these days who recognize that their physical pain manifested from more than just physical issues. If you only want to work with the physical aspects, that’s totally welcome. And if you’d like to explore the broader picture, what might that look like?

First, we want to build a ground of support, trust and resource. A resource is whatever feels good to you. Perhaps a relaxing massage is what’s needed to help regulate your nervous system. It may be helpful to bring to mind a supportive person and notice the somatic (physical) sensations you feel when that support is present. The body naturally responds to an imaginary vision, and the somatic response can help you settle and feel nourished. From this resourced place, perhaps you can dip a toe, or even jump right in to the pool of challenges. Are you challenged a rocky relationship or stressful job that feels like a literal weight on your shoulders? This may contribute to a collapsed posture. Or maybe it’s simply depression, which could be caused by a number of factors. We can observe the emotional and mental components of your life that are creating physical limitations, and if this even starts to feel overwhelming or too uncomfortable for you, we can always go back to that resource to strengthen the nervous system. We can always drop the threads to pick up another time when you’re feeling ready.

How does this sound to you? What are you willing to explore to unlock the greatest freedom of movement you desire?

Call me at (720)432-3032 for a free 15-minute consultation, or go ahead a schedule a 90-minute session if you're ready to dive in.

Healing Goals

9/21/2017

I occasionally hear the question, “Do you like what you do?” This is an important question for a healing practitioner. If I didn’t like what I was doing, you would feel it. If I’m tense in my body, that can translate through – some part of you, whether it’s obvious or not, can feel that tension. So my healing work is transforming as I remember what brings me joy - dancing, connecting authentically with others, seeing beauty everywhere and creating a more beautiful world. Weaving these in to my therapeutic work will translate into greater healing potential for both of us.

Here are some goals I have – these are desires for myself and for all of humanity. I’d be curious to know if any of these are goals for yourself:

Freedom of movement
Empowerment to voice desires, needs and boundaries
Ability to feel any emotion with ease
Secure attachment
Trust in intuition
Capability to see the beauty in life
Capacity feel more pleasure

I'll be going more in depth about each of these in future blogs, including what can be done to achieve these goals, starting with Freedom of Movement.

Call me at (720)432-3032 for a free phone consultation to discuss how to achieve your goals.

Grounding

8/21/2017

Do you walk barefoot in the grass?

Do you enjoy the coolness and soft or prickly texture, or the sound of it brushing your feet?

My friend Katherine always feels more calm when she walks barefoot on the earth. It's naturally grounding to connect your skin to the skin of the earth. If nothing else, it's a contrast to having your feet enveloped in socks and shoes all day, sitting inside or walking around the concrete jungle.

Experiencing a contrast or polarity will help change your state of being. So if you're feeling lethargic and you haven't experienced the texture of the earth lately, trit it for a least a couple minutes, just as an experiement. If you don't notice a shift in your mood or energy, at least it was only a couple minutes.

Discovering YOUR truth

7/5/2017

What is Polarity Life Coaching / Two-Chair?

A facilitated conversation where you discover what is true for you, where you unearth the answers to your questions and recognize your inherent health. This can happen with ease when you have a skilled, intuitive guide to assist you.

What it is not:

Me telling you how to live your life or giving you advice

Maps tell us where to go, right?
I can't possibly get lost when I have a map... or can I?

Sometimes it helps to have a buddy decipher a map with you. Sometimes it's more helpful to scrap the map and listen to your intuition. Sometimes your mind is chattering too much for you to recognize your intuition and it helps to have a buddy to slow down and pay attention to the signs.

There are maps of the body, mind and emotions - charts that help give us an idea of what means what. For example, an injury along a Chinese meridian (lines of energy) could give us clues as to what imbalances you may have in your whole system. Or it could be random. An iridologist may read your eyes and tell you that the dark spots in the area that relates to the colon means you should stop eating meat. And maybe it's true that your diet could be tweaked, but maybe there's good reason for eating meat. Another practitioner may tell you that attachment issues are held in a particular area of the body. Then you may experience sensations in different area when attachment issues arise.

A map of the land could tell us the most direct route to get someplace. Google Maps could tell us the quickest way to get someplace. A different reading of the map could show us the most scenic route. And perhaps none of those maps will show us road closures.

Even the best teachers know that they don't know everything. My point is, my intention in working with you is to help you realize your own unique solutions. I want to give you suggestions - stretches, breathwork, mindfulness exercises that may help - and I want you to give them a try, maybe try them multiple times. Repetition can bring about more insight than doing something just once. Or maybe you'll try something once and feel that it's not right for you. And maybe it's not right for you now, but it will be someday. You're a living organism, after all. Change is a fact of life.

So are you open to change? Are you open to trying new things to see how they feel? Are you open to experimenting and discovering your own inherent wisdom? Let's work together.

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