Category: Mind Body Connection

Will you speak up in a session?

12/13/2018

What is supportive to you in a bodywork and coaching session?

My work has become much more dynamic and interactive lately. I invite you as the receiver to delve in to your full experience, including the awareness and healing of the emotional, mental and spiritual, as well as physical. This includes more verbal interaction, asking you what you're experiencing as the session goes along, and guiding you to notice specific areas of the body. This is all in service of deeper, long-lasting healing, finding more clarity and pleasure in the body, and supporting integration of you as a whole being, including the mind and spirit as well as the body.

With this more complex work, I'm recognizing how everyone responds to dialogue differently. Sometimes it feels very clear and easy to follow my intuition in a session, and sometimes it helps both of us if you provide feedback as we go. What supports your healing?

Do you like to be asked questions to help you deepen in to your experience?
- "What's that sensation like?"

Or do you like to be guided more directly?
- "Notice if your breath is deep or shallow"
- "Tell me about a resource you have in your life that feels supportive."

Or do you appreciate more soft invitations?
- "If it feels good to you, I invite you to ask that part of your body, "what would you like to say?"

What you need today may be different than what you need tomorrow. How you respond to cues or dialogue in one session might be completely different from how you respond during another session. As this work evolves, I'm becoming more flexible in how I work, and open to your feedback as we go. Three different people in the past week needed different types of questions, cues or dialogue to help them deepen into their unique healing journey. It's OK to speak up for what you need.

I was talking with some friends last week about receiving massage. They said they don't like to speak up and "tell the therapist what to do" during a massage. They figure the massage therapist is a professional and knows exactly what to do... Well, yes, they are professional, and your voice and needs are important, and I've yet to meet any therapist who is perfectly psychic or 100% attuned. It can be a gift to yourself and to the therapist to voice what you're experiencing and what you need.

I've received bodywork from countless professionals, many who have been working in the field longer than I have, and I often play an active role in receiving - either moving my body as I receive (think of how a cat or dog moves when you pet them), requesting specific contact in a specific area, requesting a pause or change of pace, letting them know what I'm feeling or acknowledging memories that are surfacing (this can help the feelings or memories transform or heal), requesting more space, or more contact... Sometimes it feels weird to be so active when it's not the norm, but it feels true to me, and feels like what I need to access what I want - deeper healing, aliveness, body awareness, safety and nourishment.

Becoming a more active receiver is certainly a practice. It's taken years for me to become more comfortable speaking up in a session, or even knowing what to ask for. Sometimes I want something different, but I'm not sure what. It's ok to voice that, too. It's true that some therapists have a difficult time hearing feedback or requests, and to be honest, I've struggled with that in the past. It's a practice to receive feedback, too. Now more than ever I value hearing your voice, hearing your needs, knowing what works and what you need to feel safe, comfortable, expansive, and open to receiving and healing. I look forward to serving you and discovering your unique blueprint to health.

Want to talk before a session? Call me at 720-432-3032

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Anatomy Lesson: Sacrum, the holy bone

10/6/2018

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In craniosacral therapy, the sacrum is a bone traditionally contacted. It's located at the base of the spine, back of the pelvis, and it's part of the structure that's affected if you have SI joint dysfuction, which relates to low back pain. Why am I introducing you to the sacrum?

In this line of work it’s important because when I work with it, clients are typically lying supine, or face-up, and I ask them if I can hold under their sacrum, then request that they lift their hips so I can easily rest my hand under them. Many people ask, “where’s my sacrum?” I’ve also worked with people who think craniosacral therapy means a head massage, because the only part of “craniosacral” they recognize is “cranium.” Craniosacral therapy was developed by an osteopath who worked with the cranium, sacrum and primary structures that connect them - the spine and cerebrospinal fluid.

Personally, it’s important to me because I’ve had pain or dysfunction in my SI joint at least since 2007, if not before unknowingly, and I’ve been affected by anxiety and depression throughout my life. The sacrum contains the lumbosacral waterbed, a reservoir of cerebrospinal fluid that affects the health of the whole body. This fluid supports and protects the brain. If the structures that contain the cerebrospinal fluid are aligned in good health, the fluid can flow easily and the brain is healthier. If the sacrum is compressed at any of its joints, because of its connection to the spinal cord and cerebrospinal fluid, it directly affects the central nervous system.

The sacrum is also connected to the pelvis and sexual organs, so it plays a role in sexual health, which in turn plays a role in creativity and overall wellbeing (read or listen to Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf for more details on the correlations between the pelvis, sexuality, creativity and well-being).

The sacrum is affected from sitting too long, impact injuries, repetitive strain, irregular gait, and emotional holding. What can you do today to improve flow and health of the sacrum? Ask your body. How does it want to move? What is being held in the sacrum? What does it need? If it's not clear to you, maybe it needs contact. Reach out for support if you'd like help in accessing better flow in your body: (720)432-3032.

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How do you relate to emotions?

5/16/2018

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Fear. Anger. Sadness. Joy.

What do you want from emotions? To learn from them? To love them? To see the value in them? To avoid all but joy?

I want to find allowance of them. I want to access joy as much as possible. I want to be aware of the value and lessons in fear, anger and sadness, and I want to be able to let them go with ease.

Do you ruminate in one of these? Do you repress one, only to have it come out with a strong intensity under pressure? Do you repress one and feel as if your life is missing something? When I think of repressed emotions, I think of a child who eventually acts out after not being heard. At first the child may gently ask for what they need. If they aren't heard, they may cry. Then scream. Later on, if they're still not getting what they need, they may act out violently toward others, or "misbehave," in order to get attention in an attempt to get what they need. If emotions are held in and not allowed to move, they'll act up later on. The body holds on to them and reveals them as pain and discomfort.

How do you personally want to relate to emotions? If you want help dealing the more challenging ones, talk to me. If you want help accessing more joy, let's work together. Call me for a free consultation, or go ahead and schedule a session.

(720)432-3032

Have you noticed any correlations between your emotional state and your physical body? Do you have any tricks to help you release or move challenging emotions? I'm curious - please comment!

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Removing the charge from polarities

4/11/2018

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“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed.
Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”

- Rumi

Holding on / Letting go
Is one better than the other?

Masculine / Feminine
What are your judgments of these?

Expanding / Contracting
Do you value one over the other?

If you have a preference, it's simply an interesting point of view. Perhaps it's what you need in this moment, and tomorrow your point of view may change.

There is no inherent better than or less than, right or wrong. All of these are simply aspects of life - when these aspects are balanced, life will flow with greater ease. Sometimes it will feel good let go. Sometimes it’s wise to hold on. Sometimes I want to embody the masculine / yang qualities of being active, direct, and extroverted. Sometimes it would benefit me more to surrender, be receptive and flowing - embodying more yin or feminine qualities of life.

In Polarity Two-chair, we pendulate from one to the other, taking time to notice what we feel in the body. When we have a preference around something such as holding on or letting go, it creates a positive or negative charge around it. With a few pendulations, the initial charge dissipates, and we feel more neutral, or balanced.

When there’s less charge and no point of view, we have more space for choice. The body and mind are more at ease. When the voice of judgments and societal expectations are neutralized, it's easier to find clarity and trust within. Intuition becomes more apparent. Decision-making becomes easier. The flow state is more accessible.

Are you willing to slow down, notice what your judgments are, feel them in the body and surrender to change? I've personally committed to a two-chair practice for myself every day as long as it serves me. It is something you can do on your own, and at times it helps to have a guide to facilitate deeper change. Call me if you'd like some guidance: (720)432-3032, or schedule a coaching session online.

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Quality control - trustworthy touch

4/4/2018

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“Your quality of touch is different - I feel relaxed with it. I’m not reacting defensively like I sometimes do...
My body is open to it.”

I wonder how the world would be if we all knew how to touch and be touched with ease and grace?

This is what I strive for in every session - to contact the recipient in a way that has them relaxed and receptive. Why is this important? When the body reacts defensively by tensing or contracting against contact, or when anxiety builds up in response to it, the body is reacting more to the therapist instead of relaxing into it’s natural healing processes. I could create more tension for you, which could also get worked out during the session, but you’re probably coming to me to release tension you had before seeing me, not to create more tension to work through. Have you ever had a massage that left you feeling more tense? Let’s not do that, ok?

So what contributes to a quality of touch that instills trust and allows for the most easeful healing?

Presence
Awareness
Neutrality
Deep listening
Self-trust
Embodiment

The first two skills that are taught in the Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy training - ones that are repeatedly emphasized throughout the program because of their importance, are the skill of being and the skill of relationship. The skill of being pertains to the state of the therapist. As I begin a session, do I feel grounded, centered and neutral? Am I relaxed, present and aware of my state, or am I nervous or biased in some way? This will affect how the recipient responds, whether they’re conscious of it or not - on some level, their body will be aware of my state, even if their mind is not.

The second skill is the one of relationship (the basic definition of “relationship” is “a connection” - I’m not referring to a romantic relationship in this instance). In this connection, what kind of contact would feel most easeful or welcome by the recipient? How much space would they like and what kind of pressure feels most easeful? Sometimes there’s a wide range of contact styles - light strokes, heavy compressions, etc. - that feel comfortable for the body. Sometimes the recipient will be very specific - they may want very light, still touch and a wide focus from the therapist.

To get a sense of different focus styles, imagine gazing out at the vast expanse of the ocean horizon. Notice how that feels in your body. Then imagine you’re examining something very specific through a microscope, and notice what you feel in your body with that image - two different modes of focus. Considering the body, I could have a wide focus by opening my awareness to the whole body, including the space around the body. Or I could have a narrow focus by zooming in to one little point, like a vertebra in the neck. Again, the recipient’s body feels the difference, whether or not the mind is aware of it. The book Open Focus Brain, by Les Fehmi and Jim Robbins, is a good resource for developing relaxed, open focus.

These “skills” can be applied to any experience in life where you’re interacting with another being. If you want to create the greatest ease in connections (relationships), and minimize reactive defenses, try working on the skills of being and the skills of relationship.

Skills of being:
Feeling grounded, centered, and neutral

This is a state of being present with self-awareness, mindfulness and allowance of what wants to happen - having a sense of equanimity. Perhaps we notice biases, judgements or habitual patterns come up. These are normal, so rather than judging the judgements, see if they’ll disappear if you ask them to, rather than hooking on to them. The level of neutrality you can hold may vary, depending on who you’re interacting with. Feeling some appreciation or loving kindness for yourself may help. Another way some people access neutrality is simply to look around the room and label (in their mind) what they see - i.e. I see a green wall, white lamp, brown wood door, etc.

In a grounded, centered, neutral state, the person you’re interacting with is least likely to react because there isn’t something to hook onto, positive or negative, and because you’re present with them. If you’re distracted, it’s more likely to create some interruption of the connection.

Skills of relationship, or connection:
Comfortable proximity and contact

This includes awareness of the energetic space (wide vs. narrow focus, for example), and awareness of the type of contact desired. In the context of a therapeutic bodywork session, I’m offering massage, craniosacral therapy or other touch therapy to someone laying on a table, so I’m trained and comfortable offering different types of touch. If you’re offering someone massage, considering the skill of relationship, notice what feels good to you and the person you’re touching. If you’re unsure or if you want to encourage verbal feedback, ask how the contact is. If you trust your intuition, they appear clearly at ease, you feel relaxed and connected to them, and you trust them to speak up if something is uncomfortable, then it may not be necessary to talk about the contact. And that may change tomorrow… each day is different.

What have you found to be helpful in establishing comfort and trust with touch? I’m curious to hear your stories - what has you feel relaxed and what hasn’t worked for you in bodywork sessions?

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Will you speak up in a session?

Anatomy Lesson: Sacrum, the holy bone

How do you relate to emotions?

Fear. Anger. Sadness. Joy.

Removing the charge from polarities

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed.
Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”

- Rumi

Quality control - trustworthy touch

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Will you speak up in a session?

Anatomy Lesson: Sacrum, the holy bone

How do you relate to emotions?

Fear. Anger. Sadness. Joy.

Removing the charge from polarities

​“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes.If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed.Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”​- Rumi

Quality control - trustworthy touch

Author

Archives

Categories

Currently reading

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed.
Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”

- Rumi