On Caretaking, focus, and being "selfish"
I'm assisting a Craniosacral class this week and another assistant asked me to give her a session while the students were practicing on each other. There are plenty of other assistants to go around if the students are in need, and when experienced practitioners give and receive sessions in class, it affects the energy and awareness of the whole field.
In spite of that, part of me wanted to hold an awareness of the whole class as I was practicing - basically hold space for everyone collectively, out of a desire to be as helpful as I possibly could be. She thought that was too much to handle, and suggested that simply having focus on her and myself would be in service to the group. I agreed.
While I do have big dreams of facilitating healing in large groups, but sometimes it's of service to the greater good to focus solely on myself for some time, or just focus on myself and one other person.
It's fun to engage in group dynamics and expand my awareness out to recognize and interact with the energy of a crowd, but it's a good practice to pendulate between that and a narrow focus. Since I've spent most of my life focusing on other, tracking everything around me, and caretaking others at the expense of my own well-being and boundaries, this is a healthy practice! It's the light side of being "selfish."
We're talking about layers in class this week - these layers being connective tissue, muscle, bone, fluids, and space. We're noticing which layer wants attention, which one is the loudest, which are revealing imprints, and which one feels most comfortable to the recipient in the moment.
I often resonate most with the layer of space, which I believe is why energy healing comes easily to me. If I were to ALWAYS have my focus on the layer of space, it might be difficult to connect with some people. I would miss details of other layers. I may feel "spaced out." So I pendulate my focus to the other layers.
And so my focus pendulates between myself, other, the relationship between myself and other, and the collective. As my focal point shifts, my understanding deepens of each one and the connections between us.
What is your focal point now?
Where feels most comfortable for you to focus - on yourself, other, the whole group, you in relation to other? And what feels like a growing edge, something you'd like to work on now?
For any women who would like to focus on the aspect of self-love while in community, I'm offering a small group practice on Thursday, May 23rd, from 6:15-8:30 PM, and it's free!
We'll be working with solo, partnered and group activities to increase self-awareness, open up channels of receiving love from ourselves and others, and deepen our inner resources. Activities will include meditative practices, authentic relating, movement and touch. Open to only 7 women - please contact me to reserve a spot: (720)432-3032.
There is a time for yielding, surrendering, and there is a time for pushing.
Which one it is may change
Moment to moment
AND it is not all up to you to decide and control.
What wants to happen right now? Can you yield to that? How deeply can you listen, find attunement to the rhythm of your body, connected to your soul, connected to the soul of the Universe: co-creating, dancing, listening, pushing, yielding, listening to the natural flow of life....
Do you desire that?
Do you wish to delve deeper in to the magic of you?
You are not doing the pushing and yielding alone. When mothers give birth, the mother and baby are co-creating the process. A contraction happens. The baby instinctively pushes against the uterus, the mother feels this, and works with baby, surrendering to it's push, riding the ocean tide.
You are not doing the push and yield alone!
Other forces, people, creatures are available to support you and are already working with you, whether or not you're aware of it. The more you realize this and acknowledge it, the easier it will be.
Welcome, new life.
What wants to be birthed through you today? What can you yield to in this moment to access your desires?
are Sacred. are Safe. are Real. are Medicine.
Here, you are welcome to drop your walls. to cry. to release. to surrender to the flow.
you are welcome to be messy.
both, at the same time
real. Human. Divine.
Do you dare?
Are you willing to find out who you truly are? Are you willing to expand your capacity to be with what is under the surface? It may be numb, angry, rageful, grieving, happy, ticklish, ecstatic, pleasurable (gasp!), or young and tender, or big and LOUD!
Who are you, under the everyday habits, the armored tissue, the make-up and put-togetherness that you wear to make it through the chaos.
Who is the one who is reading this now?
Who is the one in the center of your being who is eternally still, spacious, full of infinite potential and perfect in alignment?
Can you find a way to dance with that one inside you?
Can you feel that one who is in contact with the whole universe?
Is now the time to find your center?
Is now the time to acknowledge your wholeness?
You are radically invited....
Call for a free consultation: (720)432-3032
Or click here to schedule if you're ready to step in to your power.
Notice now what you feel in your body.
"Hello, love." Say hello to your body.
The world would like to contribute to you. Where can you open to receive?
Imagine the earth below. "Hello, love."
What do you notice?
Today this was my meditation: I said "hello" energetically to different beings, people, experiences, parts of nature, aspects of my life, using the simple phrase, "hello, love" as I brought them to mind. Each time I said hello, I experienced a different sensation or awareness in my body:
Everything, every place, everyone you can imagine has something available to you - something you can receive, some energy you can experience in your body and mind, if you are open to it.
It may be an energy you want to cultivate, such as stillness, a sense of grounding, or warmth in the heart. It may simply be information - you can receive an awareness of how something or someone is showing up right now. It's ok to receive something and let it go. It's ok to receive some energy or awareness and ask, "how can I create more of this feeling in my life?" It's ok to receive the answer to this question over time, in the process of life.
What are you open to receive today? Can you receive from yourself? Say to yourself, "hello, love," and notice what happens.
This is a practice of surrendering, allowing, listening, and receiving. It may be helpful to listen to a guided meditation to relax the mind and body before sensing in to the energetic qualities of the world. It may be helpful to first move the body, vocalize, sing, etc - anything to loosen up tension in your body or mind, and to drop in to a receptive, relaxed, resourced state to begin with. What helps you feel grounded, centered, present and aware?
Hello, love. The world would like to contribute to you. What would you like to receive today?
What is supportive to you in a bodywork and coaching session?
My work has become much more dynamic and interactive lately. I invite you as the receiver to delve in to your full experience, including the awareness and healing of the emotional, mental and spiritual, as well as physical. This includes more verbal interaction, asking you what you're experiencing as the session goes along, and guiding you to notice specific areas of the body. This is all in service of deeper, long-lasting healing, finding more clarity and pleasure in the body, and supporting integration of you as a whole being, including the mind and spirit as well as the body.
With this more complex work, I'm recognizing how everyone responds to dialogue differently. Sometimes it feels very clear and easy to follow my intuition in a session, and sometimes it helps both of us if you provide feedback as we go. What supports your healing?
Do you like to be asked questions to help you deepen in to your experience?
- "What's that sensation like?"
Or do you like to be guided more directly?
- "Notice if your breath is deep or shallow"
- "Tell me about a resource you have in your life that feels supportive."
Or do you appreciate more soft invitations?
- "If it feels good to you, I invite you to ask that part of your body, "what would you like to say?"
What you need today may be different than what you need tomorrow. How you respond to cues or dialogue in one session might be completely different from how you respond during another session. As this work evolves, I'm becoming more flexible in how I work, and open to your feedback as we go. Three different people in the past week needed different types of questions, cues or dialogue to help them deepen into their unique healing journey. It's OK to speak up for what you need.
I was talking with some friends last week about receiving massage. They said they don't like to speak up and "tell the therapist what to do" during a massage. They figure the massage therapist is a professional and knows exactly what to do... Well, yes, they are professional, and your voice and needs are important, and I've yet to meet any therapist who is perfectly psychic or 100% attuned. It can be a gift to yourself and to the therapist to voice what you're experiencing and what you need.
I've received bodywork from countless professionals, many who have been working in the field longer than I have, and I often play an active role in receiving - either moving my body as I receive (think of how a cat or dog moves when you pet them), requesting specific contact in a specific area, requesting a pause or change of pace, letting them know what I'm feeling or acknowledging memories that are surfacing (this can help the feelings or memories transform or heal), requesting more space, or more contact... Sometimes it feels weird to be so active when it's not the norm, but it feels true to me, and feels like what I need to access what I want - deeper healing, aliveness, body awareness, safety and nourishment.
Becoming a more active receiver is certainly a practice. It's taken years for me to become more comfortable speaking up in a session, or even knowing what to ask for. Sometimes I want something different, but I'm not sure what. It's ok to voice that, too. It's true that some therapists have a difficult time hearing feedback or requests, and to be honest, I've struggled with that in the past. It's a practice to receive feedback, too. Now more than ever I value hearing your voice, hearing your needs, knowing what works and what you need to feel safe, comfortable, expansive, and open to receiving and healing. I look forward to serving you and discovering your unique blueprint to health.
Want to talk before a session? Call me at 720-432-3032
In craniosacral therapy, the sacrum is a bone traditionally contacted. It's located at the base of the spine, back of the pelvis, and it's part of the structure that's affected if you have SI joint dysfuction, which relates to low back pain. Why am I introducing you to the sacrum?
In this line of work it’s important because when I work with it, clients are typically lying supine, or face-up, and I ask them if I can hold under their sacrum, then request that they lift their hips so I can easily rest my hand under them. Many people ask, “where’s my sacrum?” I’ve also worked with people who think craniosacral therapy means a head massage, because the only part of “craniosacral” they recognize is “cranium.” Craniosacral therapy was developed by an osteopath who worked with the cranium, sacrum and primary structures that connect them - the spine and cerebrospinal fluid.
Personally, it’s important to me because I’ve had pain or dysfunction in my SI joint at least since 2007, if not before unknowingly, and I’ve been affected by anxiety and depression throughout my life. The sacrum contains the lumbosacral waterbed, a reservoir of cerebrospinal fluid that affects the health of the whole body. This fluid supports and protects the brain. If the structures that contain the cerebrospinal fluid are aligned in good health, the fluid can flow easily and the brain is healthier. If the sacrum is compressed at any of its joints, because of its connection to the spinal cord and cerebrospinal fluid, it directly affects the central nervous system.
The sacrum is also connected to the pelvis and sexual organs, so it plays a role in sexual health, which in turn plays a role in creativity and overall wellbeing (read or listen to Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf for more details on the correlations between the pelvis, sexuality, creativity and well-being).
The sacrum is affected from sitting too long, impact injuries, repetitive strain, irregular gait, and emotional holding. What can you do today to improve flow and health of the sacrum? Ask your body. How does it want to move? What is being held in the sacrum? What does it need? If it's not clear to you, maybe it needs contact. Reach out for support if you'd like help in accessing better flow in your body: (720)432-3032.
Are you actually hungry for more food? Or connection? Chocolate cake, or comfort? Ice cream, or safety?
Let's talk about embodiment.
What is embodiment good for anyway? The ability to notice the intimate details of your body is HIGHLY VALUABLE. When I say intimate, I don't mean your private parts. I'm talking about the innermost details, the feelings beneath the feelings. You have a belly-ache? It's more than just what you ate yesterday, or this morning. What is the IBS or other abdominal distress trying to tell you. Are you willing to listen? Are you willing to open up your view, ask your body some questions, seek assistance when you feel stuck?
The value of embodiment, of working with the various sensations, feelings, emotions and memories in the body, is FREEDOM.
The key to freedom is embodiment.
And here's one slice of the embodiment pie to consider today:
What am I hungry for?
What is my soul longing for?
Right now, my body is hungry for connection. Connection to my spirit, to my higher knowing, with clear dialogue and guidance. And for enlivening and nourishing connections to the world around me.
What would it take to access that which we really want? What walls have to come down to tap into our true delight? Are you ready to open to support to guide you in finding and following that which lights you up?
Fear. Anger. Sadness. Joy.
What do you want from emotions? To learn from them? To love them? To see the value in them? To avoid all but joy?
I want to find allowance of them. I want to access joy as much as possible. I want to be aware of the value and lessons in fear, anger and sadness, and I want to be able to let them go with ease.
Do you ruminate in one of these? Do you repress one, only to have it come out with a strong intensity under pressure? Do you repress one and feel as if your life is missing something? When I think of repressed emotions, I think of a child who eventually acts out after not being heard. At first the child may gently ask for what they need. If they aren't heard, they may cry. Then scream. Later on, if they're still not getting what they need, they may act out violently toward others, or "misbehave," in order to get attention in an attempt to get what they need. If emotions are held in and not allowed to move, they'll act up later on. The body holds on to them and reveals them as pain and discomfort.
How do you personally want to relate to emotions? If you want help dealing the more challenging ones, talk to me. If you want help accessing more joy, let's work together. Call me for a free consultation, or go ahead and schedule a session.
Have you noticed any correlations between your emotional state and your physical body? Do you have any tricks to help you release or move challenging emotions? I'm curious - please comment!
“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes.
Intuitive massage therapist, energy healer and somatic coach in Boulder, Colorado, bringing you insight and inspiration on healing and conscious living.