Equilibrium Bodywork & Coaching - Insights

Hello, Love: A Meditation

2/14/2019

Notice now what you feel in your body.
"Hello, love." Say hello to your body.

The world would like to contribute to you. Where can you open to receive?

Imagine the earth below. "Hello, love."
What do you notice?

Today this was my meditation: I said "hello" energetically to different beings, people, experiences, parts of nature, aspects of my life, using the simple phrase, "hello, love" as I brought them to mind. Each time I said hello, I experienced a different sensation or awareness in my body:

warmth in the heart
vertical lengthening of the torso
backward movement from the spine
horizontal expansion at the chest
alertness in the head
spreading of the seat
stillness

Everything, every place, everyone you can imagine has something available to you - something you can receive, some energy you can experience in your body and mind, if you are open to it.

It may be an energy you want to cultivate, such as stillness, a sense of grounding, or warmth in the heart. It may simply be information - you can receive an awareness of how something or someone is showing up right now. It's ok to receive something and let it go. It's ok to receive some energy or awareness and ask, "how can I create more of this feeling in my life?" It's ok to receive the answer to this question over time, in the process of life.

What are you open to receive today? Can you receive from yourself? Say to yourself, "hello, love," and notice what happens.

This is a practice of surrendering, allowing, listening, and receiving. It may be helpful to listen to a guided meditation to relax the mind and body before sensing in to the energetic qualities of the world. It may be helpful to first move the body, vocalize, sing, etc - anything to loosen up tension in your body or mind, and to drop in to a receptive, relaxed, resourced state to begin with. What helps you feel grounded, centered, present and aware?

Hello, love. The world would like to contribute to you. What would you like to receive today?

Will you speak up in a session?

12/13/2018

What is supportive to you in a bodywork and coaching session?

My work has become much more dynamic and interactive lately. I invite you as the receiver to delve in to your full experience, including the awareness and healing of the emotional, mental and spiritual, as well as physical. This includes more verbal interaction, asking you what you're experiencing as the session goes along, and guiding you to notice specific areas of the body. This is all in service of deeper, long-lasting healing, finding more clarity and pleasure in the body, and supporting integration of you as a whole being, including the mind and spirit as well as the body.

With this more complex work, I'm recognizing how everyone responds to dialogue differently. Sometimes it feels very clear and easy to follow my intuition in a session, and sometimes it helps both of us if you provide feedback as we go. What supports your healing?

Do you like to be asked questions to help you deepen in to your experience?
- "What's that sensation like?"

Or do you like to be guided more directly?
- "Notice if your breath is deep or shallow"
- "Tell me about a resource you have in your life that feels supportive."

Or do you appreciate more soft invitations?
- "If it feels good to you, I invite you to ask that part of your body, "what would you like to say?"

What you need today may be different than what you need tomorrow. How you respond to cues or dialogue in one session might be completely different from how you respond during another session. As this work evolves, I'm becoming more flexible in how I work, and open to your feedback as we go. Three different people in the past week needed different types of questions, cues or dialogue to help them deepen into their unique healing journey. It's OK to speak up for what you need.

I was talking with some friends last week about receiving massage. They said they don't like to speak up and "tell the therapist what to do" during a massage. They figure the massage therapist is a professional and knows exactly what to do... Well, yes, they are professional, and your voice and needs are important, and I've yet to meet any therapist who is perfectly psychic or 100% attuned. It can be a gift to yourself and to the therapist to voice what you're experiencing and what you need.

I've received bodywork from countless professionals, many who have been working in the field longer than I have, and I often play an active role in receiving - either moving my body as I receive (think of how a cat or dog moves when you pet them), requesting specific contact in a specific area, requesting a pause or change of pace, letting them know what I'm feeling or acknowledging memories that are surfacing (this can help the feelings or memories transform or heal), requesting more space, or more contact... Sometimes it feels weird to be so active when it's not the norm, but it feels true to me, and feels like what I need to access what I want - deeper healing, aliveness, body awareness, safety and nourishment.

Becoming a more active receiver is certainly a practice. It's taken years for me to become more comfortable speaking up in a session, or even knowing what to ask for. Sometimes I want something different, but I'm not sure what. It's ok to voice that, too. It's true that some therapists have a difficult time hearing feedback or requests, and to be honest, I've struggled with that in the past. It's a practice to receive feedback, too. Now more than ever I value hearing your voice, hearing your needs, knowing what works and what you need to feel safe, comfortable, expansive, and open to receiving and healing. I look forward to serving you and discovering your unique blueprint to health.

Want to talk before a session? Call me at 720-432-3032

Anatomy Lesson: Sacrum, the holy bone

10/6/2018

In craniosacral therapy, the sacrum is a bone traditionally contacted. It's located at the base of the spine, back of the pelvis, and it's part of the structure that's affected if you have SI joint dysfuction, which relates to low back pain. Why am I introducing you to the sacrum?

In this line of work it’s important because when I work with it, clients are typically lying supine, or face-up, and I ask them if I can hold under their sacrum, then request that they lift their hips so I can easily rest my hand under them. Many people ask, “where’s my sacrum?” I’ve also worked with people who think craniosacral therapy means a head massage, because the only part of “craniosacral” they recognize is “cranium.” Craniosacral therapy was developed by an osteopath who worked with the cranium, sacrum and primary structures that connect them - the spine and cerebrospinal fluid.

Personally, it’s important to me because I’ve had pain or dysfunction in my SI joint at least since 2007, if not before unknowingly, and I’ve been affected by anxiety and depression throughout my life. The sacrum contains the lumbosacral waterbed, a reservoir of cerebrospinal fluid that affects the health of the whole body. This fluid supports and protects the brain. If the structures that contain the cerebrospinal fluid are aligned in good health, the fluid can flow easily and the brain is healthier. If the sacrum is compressed at any of its joints, because of its connection to the spinal cord and cerebrospinal fluid, it directly affects the central nervous system.

The sacrum is also connected to the pelvis and sexual organs, so it plays a role in sexual health, which in turn plays a role in creativity and overall wellbeing (read or listen to Vagina: A New Biography by Naomi Wolf for more details on the correlations between the pelvis, sexuality, creativity and well-being).

The sacrum is affected from sitting too long, impact injuries, repetitive strain, irregular gait, and emotional holding. What can you do today to improve flow and health of the sacrum? Ask your body. How does it want to move? What is being held in the sacrum? What does it need? If it's not clear to you, maybe it needs contact. Reach out for support if you'd like help in accessing better flow in your body: (720)432-3032.

What is your body hungry for?

7/23/2018

Are you actually hungry for more food? Or connection? Chocolate cake, or comfort? Ice cream, or safety?

Let's talk about embodiment.

What is embodiment good for anyway? The ability to notice the intimate details of your body is HIGHLY VALUABLE. When I say intimate, I don't mean your private parts. I'm talking about the innermost details, the feelings beneath the feelings. You have a belly-ache? It's more than just what you ate yesterday, or this morning. What is the IBS or other abdominal distress trying to tell you. Are you willing to listen? Are you willing to open up your view, ask your body some questions, seek assistance when you feel stuck?

The value of embodiment, of working with the various sensations, feelings, emotions and memories in the body, is FREEDOM.

The key to freedom is embodiment.

And here's one slice of the embodiment pie to consider today:
What am I hungry for?
What is my soul longing for?

Right now, my body is hungry for connection. Connection to my spirit, to my higher knowing, with clear dialogue and guidance. And for enlivening and nourishing connections to the world around me.

What would it take to access that which we really want? What walls have to come down to tap into our true delight? Are you ready to open to support to guide you in finding and following that which lights you up?

How do you relate to emotions?

5/16/2018

Fear. Anger. Sadness. Joy.

What do you want from emotions? To learn from them? To love them? To see the value in them? To avoid all but joy?

I want to find allowance of them. I want to access joy as much as possible. I want to be aware of the value and lessons in fear, anger and sadness, and I want to be able to let them go with ease.

Do you ruminate in one of these? Do you repress one, only to have it come out with a strong intensity under pressure? Do you repress one and feel as if your life is missing something? When I think of repressed emotions, I think of a child who eventually acts out after not being heard. At first the child may gently ask for what they need. If they aren't heard, they may cry. Then scream. Later on, if they're still not getting what they need, they may act out violently toward others, or "misbehave," in order to get attention in an attempt to get what they need. If emotions are held in and not allowed to move, they'll act up later on. The body holds on to them and reveals them as pain and discomfort.

How do you personally want to relate to emotions? If you want help dealing the more challenging ones, talk to me. If you want help accessing more joy, let's work together. Call me for a free consultation, or go ahead and schedule a session.

(720)432-3032

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Have you noticed any correlations between your emotional state and your physical body? Do you have any tricks to help you release or move challenging emotions? I'm curious - please comment!

Removing the charge from polarities

4/11/2018

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed.
Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”

- Rumi

Holding on / Letting go
Is one better than the other?

Masculine / Feminine
What are your judgments of these?

Expanding / Contracting
Do you value one over the other?

If you have a preference, it's simply an interesting point of view. Perhaps it's what you need in this moment, and tomorrow your point of view may change.

There is no inherent better than or less than, right or wrong. All of these are simply aspects of life - when these aspects are balanced, life will flow with greater ease. Sometimes it will feel good let go. Sometimes it’s wise to hold on. Sometimes I want to embody the masculine / yang qualities of being active, direct, and extroverted. Sometimes it would benefit me more to surrender, be receptive and flowing - embodying more yin or feminine qualities of life.

In Polarity Two-chair, we pendulate from one to the other, taking time to notice what we feel in the body. When we have a preference around something such as holding on or letting go, it creates a positive or negative charge around it. With a few pendulations, the initial charge dissipates, and we feel more neutral, or balanced.

When there’s less charge and no point of view, we have more space for choice. The body and mind are more at ease. When the voice of judgments and societal expectations are neutralized, it's easier to find clarity and trust within. Intuition becomes more apparent. Decision-making becomes easier. The flow state is more accessible.

Are you willing to slow down, notice what your judgments are, feel them in the body and surrender to change? I've personally committed to a two-chair practice for myself every day as long as it serves me. It is something you can do on your own, and at times it helps to have a guide to facilitate deeper change. Call me if you'd like some guidance: (720)432-3032, or schedule a coaching session online.

Quality control - trustworthy touch

4/4/2018

“Your quality of touch is different - I feel relaxed with it. I’m not reacting defensively like I sometimes do...
My body is open to it.”

I wonder how the world would be if we all knew how to touch and be touched with ease and grace?

This is what I strive for in every session - to contact the recipient in a way that has them relaxed and receptive. Why is this important? When the body reacts defensively by tensing or contracting against contact, or when anxiety builds up in response to it, the body is reacting more to the therapist instead of relaxing into it’s natural healing processes. I could create more tension for you, which could also get worked out during the session, but you’re probably coming to me to release tension you had before seeing me, not to create more tension to work through. Have you ever had a massage that left you feeling more tense? Let’s not do that, ok?

So what contributes to a quality of touch that instills trust and allows for the most easeful healing?

Presence
Awareness
Neutrality
Deep listening
Self-trust
Embodiment

The first two skills that are taught in the Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy training - ones that are repeatedly emphasized throughout the program because of their importance, are the skill of being and the skill of relationship. The skill of being pertains to the state of the therapist. As I begin a session, do I feel grounded, centered and neutral? Am I relaxed, present and aware of my state, or am I nervous or biased in some way? This will affect how the recipient responds, whether they’re conscious of it or not - on some level, their body will be aware of my state, even if their mind is not.

The second skill is the one of relationship (the basic definition of “relationship” is “a connection” - I’m not referring to a romantic relationship in this instance). In this connection, what kind of contact would feel most easeful or welcome by the recipient? How much space would they like and what kind of pressure feels most easeful? Sometimes there’s a wide range of contact styles - light strokes, heavy compressions, etc. - that feel comfortable for the body. Sometimes the recipient will be very specific - they may want very light, still touch and a wide focus from the therapist.

To get a sense of different focus styles, imagine gazing out at the vast expanse of the ocean horizon. Notice how that feels in your body. Then imagine you’re examining something very specific through a microscope, and notice what you feel in your body with that image - two different modes of focus. Considering the body, I could have a wide focus by opening my awareness to the whole body, including the space around the body. Or I could have a narrow focus by zooming in to one little point, like a vertebra in the neck. Again, the recipient’s body feels the difference, whether or not the mind is aware of it. The book Open Focus Brain, by Les Fehmi and Jim Robbins, is a good resource for developing relaxed, open focus.

These “skills” can be applied to any experience in life where you’re interacting with another being. If you want to create the greatest ease in connections (relationships), and minimize reactive defenses, try working on the skills of being and the skills of relationship.

Skills of being:
Feeling grounded, centered, and neutral

This is a state of being present with self-awareness, mindfulness and allowance of what wants to happen - having a sense of equanimity. Perhaps we notice biases, judgements or habitual patterns come up. These are normal, so rather than judging the judgements, see if they’ll disappear if you ask them to, rather than hooking on to them. The level of neutrality you can hold may vary, depending on who you’re interacting with. Feeling some appreciation or loving kindness for yourself may help. Another way some people access neutrality is simply to look around the room and label (in their mind) what they see - i.e. I see a green wall, white lamp, brown wood door, etc.

In a grounded, centered, neutral state, the person you’re interacting with is least likely to react because there isn’t something to hook onto, positive or negative, and because you’re present with them. If you’re distracted, it’s more likely to create some interruption of the connection.

Skills of relationship, or connection:
Comfortable proximity and contact

This includes awareness of the energetic space (wide vs. narrow focus, for example), and awareness of the type of contact desired. In the context of a therapeutic bodywork session, I’m offering massage, craniosacral therapy or other touch therapy to someone laying on a table, so I’m trained and comfortable offering different types of touch. If you’re offering someone massage, considering the skill of relationship, notice what feels good to you and the person you’re touching. If you’re unsure or if you want to encourage verbal feedback, ask how the contact is. If you trust your intuition, they appear clearly at ease, you feel relaxed and connected to them, and you trust them to speak up if something is uncomfortable, then it may not be necessary to talk about the contact. And that may change tomorrow… each day is different.

What have you found to be helpful in establishing comfort and trust with touch? I’m curious to hear your stories - what has you feel relaxed and what hasn’t worked for you in bodywork sessions?

Stress and the mind-body connection

2/26/2018

"The biology of stress predominantly affected 3 types of tissues, or organs in the body. In the hormonal system, visible changes occurred in the adrenal glands; in the immune system, stress affected the spleen, the thymus the lymph glands; and the intestinal lining of the digestive system."
Gabor Mate
"When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection"

Stress, emotions and mental activity all affect the physical body. It isn't possible to separate the mind, body, emotions and spirit from one another in the human experience. The changes in your body from stress, emotions and mental activity might not always be obvious, but you're probably also not aware of all the minuscule digestive processes that are happening in each cell. I've been so steeped in this knowledge for the past few years, and training in a variety of modalities that all explain how this works, that it's so clear to me. When I hear someone dispute this, it's like they're saying gravity isn't real. Well, maybe gravity is a figment of our imagination, too, a story that has become real because we believe in it. Maybe the mind-body-emotions-spirit connection isn't real to some people, but it's very real in my reality. So when something doesn't feel good in your body, notice what's happening in the rest of your life, and what's been happening in your life for the past couple weeks, and past several years, and your entire life. It's all connected.

Want to learn more? Check out Gabor Mate's book "When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection," Audio or Paperback book

Ready to explore the mind-body connection in a session? In addition to hands-on bodywork, coaching can help facilitate deeper healing - polarity two-chair and somatic experiencing will bring greater awareness to the unique fingerprint of your mind-body connection. It can release binds - habits, patterns, stuckness - and balance the nervous system, so your body can heal itself. Click here to book a session now.

Nature does not hurry

2/11/2018

"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished"
-Lao Tzu

I seem to need this reminder frequently. There's so much that I want to change - in my life, community, home, and the world at large. I want it all to change right now! But what wants to happen right now? And how can it change with ease?

Sometimes my mind and nervous system get speedy and anxious with all of the things I want to, ought to, need to do. It's incredible how much the mind can hold! It can also get jumbled and confused with all of those thoughts running around. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, so I end up procrastinating or starting a bazillion projects that never get finished. Can you relate to this? To gain clarity on what wants to happen right now, it can help to slow the mind and listen to the body.

Can you take a pause as you're reading this and notice your breath? Can you feel your seat? Notice how your body makes contact with the chair you're sitting on, simply to feel the points of contact, with no point of view. This simple awareness exercise will help you start to tune in to your body.

Of course the mind is part of the body, but we often ignore our body's signals - pain, discomfort, lethargy, irritation. We often suffer through these to accomplish something on our to-do list. A tickle in the throat turns into the flu, where it could be avoided if we just take the time to ask our bodies what they need. "Body, what are you aware of? "Body, what do you want?" How fast or slow does your body want to move right now?

Recently I had been noticing tension in my left hand - my fingers were slightly clenched and no matter how much I stretched them out, they continued to hold tension. Then I received some bodywork. I don't even remember if the therapist touched my left hand, but I clearly remember it relaxing as she held my ankles, using biodynamic craniosacral therapy. It was a beautiful illustration of this quote - "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." The therapist could have worked directly with my hand, applying deep pressure to all the right muscles to get them to relax, which may be the "quick fix" for some people. For me what did the trick was slowing down, listening deeply to the body, and allowing the nervous system to unwind. The body, as nature, is capable of healing itself when we listen deeply and trust the process. Everything can be accomplished with ease.

Where can you invite more ease into your life? What is your body wanting right now? If you need help slowing down, come in for a session. And take a look at these videos from Katherine McIntosh to learn more tools about listening to your body.

Body Image and Massage

10/4/2017

Body image. Almost everybody has something about their body that they don’t like. For many people it’s a minor issue, no big deal. But some people have a major issue with their body image. It affects how they live and their happiness.

When I tell people that I’m a massage therapist, once in a while someone has a strong reaction. They tell me, whether verbally or through their reaction and body language, that massage is not for them. Their body image is such an issue that they don’t think anybody else can accept them.

The paradox here is that massage can really help with body image issues. In massage school we were all nervous about taking off our clothes and letting somebody else touch us. It didn’t take long for us to discover that bodies are just bodies, and we became much more comfortable with our own. We also experienced how good receiving a massage made us feel. Something unexpected happened – when our bodies felt better, we felt better about our bodies!

Is your body image holding you back? There are 3 options to consider. Let’s look at the risk versus reward for them.

1. Don’t get a massage.

This is the easiest because it involves doing nothing. The risk is low since you are not letting another person see or touch you at all.

The reward is zero. You didn’t get a massage so your body doesn’t feel any better, and you still have the stress you had before.

2. You get a massage, but the massage therapist makes note of how you look (as if it matters).

If this has happened to you, I’m sorry. You got a lame massage therapist. That’s a bummer, and they missed the training in how to be a professional, compassionate, caring therapist. If this happened to you, you took a risk and reaped little reward.

This is not going to happen if you come to me. Never. No way. I can’t say this strongly enough. It goes against the very nature of who I am, how I treat people, and what I believe.

3. You get a massage. A great massage. And the therapist does nothing to make you feel uncomfortable about your body. In fact, you feel pretty good about your body after the massage!

In this option, your risk is low. I’m not judging you or your body. I just want to help you feel better. Your reward is high. Your body will feel better from the massage and you can start feeling better about it.

I have no idea how your body got to be in the condition that it’s in. You may be dealing with something that you can’t control, such as a medical condition, injury or accident. You may be in a lot of pain or are limited in what you can do physically. You may not have had time to shave your legs. All of this is welcome, with understanding and compassion.

I’ve worked on hundreds – maybe thousands – of people. Each body is fascinating and unique and I’ve yet to come across one that I could not help.

If you have been avoiding massage because you feel uncomfortable about your body, let’s find an option that works for you. You don’t even have to explain anything to me. Leave your clothes on if that's more comfortable. Stay sitting up or face down or lying on your side or however you want. It’s up to you.

It’s my job to help you feel better. That’s it. Together let’s find a way to help you relieve your pain and stress. Don’t let your body image keep you from feeling good.